Friday, December 26, 2008

My First Post

So, sorry. I have been writing wv words, but just haven't had the time to think much about them lately. The day after Christmas is usually slow here at the office (esp. since it is 50 degrees in the middle of winter here), so here goes:

GRAPIP: Exclamation for when you lose your grip on something while you have a whole armload of things coming in from the car. USAGE: Oh grapip! Carson, will you grab these bags while I clean up the eggs all over the floor?

IVERSHIN: The opposite of aversion. USAGE: I have an invershin to pickled okra. I am in love with it even though others hate it!

SAILSAT: The test that those in the nautical world have to take in order to be certified to do nautical things. USAGE: Julie must have done really well on her sailsat because she has a great job writing for the shipping industry.

That's all for now, but I'll be back!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

just a bunch of shilim

warning: these may make even less sense than usual because 1) i enlisted husband's help and 2) i have a cold and am not thinking straight. at all. let's hope it actually improves things...

warkemed - to be knocked sideways by the madness of the holidays.

agana - to doubt whether or not you want to become an agent while laying on a hard rock named Nanna

hysisor - those special vases you use to stand your hyacinth bulbs in indoors in the winter.

isess - that white residue left in the liquid at the bottom of a glass that has contained ice cubes.

canisms - positive mantras you repeat to yourself when you need courage. like the little engine that could, "i think i can, i think i can." or is it...all of these wacky definitions that don't really work out. as in one should have thrown them in the trashCAN. :-)

oudityl - idyllic setting in which the only thing that can be heard is the whisper of the wind in the grass and the birds singing. no children crying, screaming or demanding anything can be heard. an oudityl is especially enjoyed by parents of young children.

phynetto - the primary subdivision taxonomy of discount supermarkets.

delemath - a person who is very good at sharing.

reoceter - that eternal loop in your head when you relive a conversation and think of all the things you should have said.

colinted - when you forget to clean out the lint trap in the dryer and it takes forever to dry the clothes. as in, "no wonder this didn't dry, the dryer was all colinted."

terle - a common term among the scandinavian languages for the vikings' pillaging of the british islands.

shilim - to have your thoughts covered with a thin layer of snot (i'm not supposed to say that anymore, i know), so that they seem kind of far away and you have but limited contact with them. (i apologize if this already really is a word in yiddish with a completely different meaning that i don't know about.)

exargi - the total lack of energy you feel when you are sick but must press on and make 3 batches of cookies and a holiday tea ring. (i admit, these are becoming too autobiographical, so i'll quit now.)

Monday, December 22, 2008

ag shame

ag shame - a well-used South African~ism. 

No, really.

This isn't a word definition thingie-me-bob like we usually do here. This is the long preamble to the part where I get to how this post still relates to this blog. Just be patient.

'Ag shame' is a real - and can I just say, wonderful - South African phrase. It denotes a feeling of sympathy for a situation, or person, or person in a specific situation. But it's all about how it is said. Inflection is the swing-vote which pushes the phrase from genuine, heart-aching sympathy, to dry, unfeeling sarcasm. As an American friend always asks when I say it: 'Real shame, or 'South African'  shame?'. Sometimes one does need to check.

In this case, ag (South African) shame: Typepad don't have no verification words.

Not yet anyway. They're stuck in pre-language, still churning out '653jrd' and 'ybrzeka' 's.

Ag shame. 

Friday, December 19, 2008

enjoy your docizi!

chrickst – a particular muscular pain induced by rocking a baby to sleep in an increasingly uncomfortable position. No matter how bad the chrickst, a dedicated parent breathes through the pain until the child is asleep.

sessecti – permanent muscular damage caused by too many chricksts, the affected area tends to twinge when the sufferer hears a baby, any baby, cry. For the rest of his or her life.

buxtro – a corset-like top for women which comes with its own roll of body-tape, this being the only way of keeping it up.

docizi – Latin for a state of happiness brought about by thoughts of the weekend stretching ahead.

cleglaze - a slightly distracted expression which descends upon one midway through a Sunday afternoon, as thoughts of the coming week start infiltrating your docizi.

derct – a short note sent to congratulate a couple on their imminent divorce. Hallmark is due to release a range of dercts due to their increasing necessity, and popularity

Monday, December 15, 2008

i pulled an ovelasyn

haluni -  a hallucination, but at only night, when the moon is out.

hawifid - a panic attack when you can't get a boot off.

pramicap - a really old-fashioned approach to birth control which consists of an ugly hat that over-protective fathers make their daughters wear when they leave the house.

larborti - a false labor that happens when the pregnant woman goes swimming late in pregnancy.

ovelasyn - to stay up way too late composing definitions for words that don't exist.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

when you've got lembloq, you must ingstap

hedulta - those moments when you should set a good example and behave like an adult but you simply cannot.

lembloq - when your foot gets all tingly after you sit on it for too long.

ingstap - the crazy hopping around dance you do to get the feeling back in your lembloqed foot.

cogolat - the cocoa residue at the bottom of your mocha or hot chocolate.

esset - to triumphantly lay the winning card on the final hand of a declared "solo" in whist.

minglesy - to feel in the mood to attend a spouse's company gathering. as in, "ok, honey, i'll go, i'm feeling minglesy this evening."

proheap - to be injured getting off of the ski lift by the snowboard of the guy next to you.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I hope this doesn't drive you to crootace...

poldesse - some people's ability to carry on a long and boring story, seemingly completely unaware of the glazed expressions of their crootace'ing audience.

crootace - the serious consideration, when trapped in an extremely boring situation, to do oneself a physical injury just to get out of it.

weerob - a tiny little midge which dances in front of your eyes on still summer evenings, causing you to go cross-eyed and flail wildly trying to chase it off.

selogeau - a toothpaste stain down the front of your shirt.

mahabor - a small device designed exclusively for scraping dog shit off the sole of your shoes. It should always be kept outside.

off to take a hialigge

hialigge - to take an afternoon snooze in a hammock while the sea breeze wafts over you.
gaiver - someone who re-gifts presents they receive.
chollnes -  excessively interested in floor coverings and light fixtures.
coder - (isn’t this a real word?)  a software programmer. :-)
shcal - a drop of hair-dye on the skin that just has to wear off because it sat there too long. as in, “dang, i got a shcal right by my ear today at the salon.” 
hinisha - a red-haired white girl who dresses up in saris and pretends she’s all bollywood. 
frilsha - a blonde white girl who dresses up in saris and pretends she’s all bollywood. 

rensitr - the assistant at the salon who runs and gets things for the hairdressers and sweeps up after haircuts.
relfulsi - the blisters you get when new shoes try to reject you. 
swauwq - really dry snow that won’t work for snowballs.
nalcomet - the person who is always rushing onto the metro at the last minute and holding the door open, delaying the departure. as in, “when i’m in a hurry to get to the airport, i hate the nalcomets at every station.”
aphies - that little itch you get on your nose at a moment when it’s impossible to scratch it, like when you’ve just immersed your hands in soapy dishwater.

can you tell i wrote these today while i was at the hairdresser? amazing how your location influences things.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

and then we couldn't stop ourselves...

kribon - a too large case brought onto a plane as hand-luggage in an attempt to avoid baggage carousel rage, which then takes up so much space in the overheads that legit hand-luggage gets squished ['kribonage' is becoming a growing problem worldwide]

risbik - that little bit of burnt rice on the bottom of a pot which you scrub at and scrub at until you start contemplating just buying a new pot

prelic - (I'm sure this really is a word?) - that nagging, stabbing, guilty feeling you get when remembering childhood misdemeanors. It often gets worse as you get older.

pitir - verb: to drum one's fingers on one's steering wheel impatiently while an elderly person crosses the street in front of you.

and then it began to be an obsession

and then came this :

it seems that not only are the verification words more word-like, they're getting more poetic as well. my definitions, however, not so much.

catmodea - small matted furballs left around the house by the cat after she grooms herself.

sliftemi - the taste left in your mouth after licking an envelope or a stamp.

unbrines - the last little sad pickles left in the jar and pushed to the back of the refrigerator, only to eventually be thrown out.

secueds - linguistic term for mild versions of swear words adapted from ones that had a religious origin.  e.g. "cheese and rice" instead of "jesus christ" and "oh my goodness" instead of "oh my god."

keddlip - that sad little quivering lip sported by disappointed children. from the danish root "ked af det" (to be sad about something).

complue - low-level administrator who unwittingly helps a shady businessman commit his white collar crimes. not important enough to be an accomplice.

ementar - the weepy, slightly thick moisture that collects in the plastic on cheese that's been in the fridge for too long.

sphectum - an instrument for measuring quantities of phlegm. (not that i know why anyone would want to do that).

matracc - to become entangled in office politics.

pernies -  people who take home food from a buffet.

wigimper - one who repairs wigs.

pholoof - an expression of relief to still be alive upon completion of a marathon or triathlon. (as if i'd know.)

dribloa - a pitcher that doesn't quite pour right, but always dribbles on the tablecloth.

crilec -  a person with a chronic injury caused by excessive use of a hand-held electronic device. as in: "she used her iPhone constantly and now she's a total crilec."

cheedi - young people gathered on a quiet residential street smoking and setting off firecrackers when they should be in school.  i was lucky enough to get a photo of some cheedi yesterday through a rather dirty window (i do apologize):

just far too many hairballs and stuff lurking in the back of the refrigerator to be poetic this time.

somewhere between the second and third posts, i began compulsively writing down all of the verification words and my blog friends began writing their own definitions to their verification words in my comment fields. and then, this blog was born. an entire blog devoted to fabulous made-up definitions of words that don't exist but probably should.

round two

and then this was the second installment:

aquallar - that luminous, transparent turquoise blue of the sea off boracay.

subedi - pockets of no cellular service when the metro goes underground.

vemputis - an uncontrollable tendency to wear black or nearly-black nail polish.

terysol - a spray which should be used to freshen the air outside of office buildings where smokers gather now that smoking inside isn't allowed.

epoide - the portion of a t.v. program that's shown between commercials.

pedinges - the small splashes of nail polish that get on the cuticle by mistake and must be removed with a brush wetted with nail polish remover by the nice nail girl.

jibist - one who makes out as if they had no idea what their underlings were doing. example:  ken lay was the very epitome of a jibist in the enron scandal.

the beginning

it all started with this or more accurately, with this :

for several weeks, i've been collecting those blogger verification words that look like real words. it's so much more entertaining now that they changed their algorithm and the words look like they might mean something. i find myself constantly scrambling for a pen and paper when i'm surfing the blogosphere, so these words are scribbled everywhere in the house..on the edges of newspaper, in the notes on my iPhone (for those times when no pen/paper were available), i even started a document with a bunch of them in it, but mostly, they're scribbled here, along with phone numbers and movie seats and journal prompts and stamped owls and the name of a fabulous chanel perfume, on a scrap notecard at my desk.

but, inspired by amanda's post nearly a month ago, i thought i'd make up some definitions for some of the ones that seem most fun.

cringo - i was going to say that it's what you do when you see a WTF Wednesday posting like this one, but upon further reflection, i think it's a curly-haired white person in mexico.

rhorifer -  a filter which clears away boring conversations like "do any of you ever use the highest temperature wash on your washing machine?" at dinner parties. i'm looking into a portable version of one of these.

domit - a small home constructed in the garden to attract hedgehogs.

menwisms -  the all-too-seldom clever utterance or observation by the male of the species. as in husband's statement last week while watching news of california wildfires on CNN that it so typical of americans to participate in global warming in such an extreme way.

brapigic - that itchy feeling you get when you've just taken off an ill-fitting bra.

mismar - to accidentally get caught in the waves and get the bottom of your pant legs all wet.

kajushin -   spontaneous squatting.

quinort -  an orangey-colored moss found at the foot of evergreens in the forest.  can be brewed into a healthy (if somewhat bitter) tea.

this reminds me of playing balderdash, that game where you make up funny definitions for words, at family holidays.